”At a moment that was to determine my life and personality, I only made the right choice”

What I’m writing now transposes me into a state that I can’t realize with my entire being yet. I’m at work, the producer is waiting for a new report, and I let myself carried away by memories.

I knew that I would be doing television when I stepped into the School. Now I am at television, in a project that I wanted to be part of since it launched. The road to “Istorii urbane” [“Urban stories” show] was very unpleasant, and I don’t mean all I tried to do before getting here, but my psychological state in the period between the SAJ and my work. Dorin Scobioala used to tell us: “Television is like a virus, and if you don’t catch it in a year – don’t force things and leave!” I heard the echo of these words later, when I was giving up both television and journalism. Most often, things happen in a way you never planned.

I feel embarrassed now that I thought once that I could do something else and feel at peace with myself. I had failures, and because I am very quick at de-motivating myself, I gave up. I was already looking for a job in PR. The only thought that wouldn’t let me sleep at night was the thought about the School. I can compare studies there with a voluntarily signed contract, which leaves no way back. The only thing that pushed me was probably the fact that I would never have forgiven my choice. I felt as if I was betraying someone. How could I leave aside everything I learned? Pretend it never happened to me?

In the end, that embarrassment made me overcome laziness and all unpleasant emotions – consequences of failures. Thanks to the School, I needed no time to adapt; I didn’t need to be explained anything. I already knew what and how I have to do. It is a brief description of my gratitude. I do entertainment, but I don’t feel guilty for not using the things I learned at the SAJ. The knowledge that I have no opportunities to apply serves as a background, due to which I can see differences, analyze, discuss and direct.

There is no way my co-workers could forget that I came from the School of Journalism, because I won’t let them. I keep catching myself that I tell them about the SAJ every other day. We would be discussing something… and I always have a little story that I get out in the open and tell fondly.

I don’t consider myself an example for those who are learning to do journalism now. Given everything I wrote above, I don’t think there is anything for me to be proud of. I am not a genius of writing and I still have a lot to learn. At a moment that was to determine my life and personality, I only made the right choice.